It's been a while since I've had a good hug. I'm tired of my so called friends. It makes me sick being around them, but at the same time I yearn for their companionship.
The feeling of being around people who have never experienced pain is intolerable. I know when I say that, I speak with jealousy, but it irritates me so much because I'm hurt with the image of their first glimpse of pain. Pain I have to endure on a daily basis. Pain so immense, that I'm just a former shell of what I was.
I've hesitated, tripped, and broke. I'm really sorry Lareine. It's something you'll never understand nor something I'll ever be able to say. Nonetheless, I still love you with all that I am, all that I should be.
I still wonder what life has in store for me. I've waited for things to happen and I've made things happen, but in the end I have nothing to show for it. All I can do is walk backwards.
This Christmas I wish to make a friend.
