Help.

It's official, I am now old; A Jefferson Alumni. CLASS OF 09

I've never been perfect, nor will I ever. I've come to accept that everyone needs help. I need a lot of help. Can't somebody help me?

I hid away all the words, the pain, the resentment. I've felt empty for far too long, there's such a huge void to be filled. I didn't feel much through graduation. I had no close attachment nor bond whatsoever towards anyone. I always felt nobody can understand me. Maybe the only ones that can truly know me are the ones who knows this pain. Everyone thinks they know, but they have no clue. It's like comparing being alone from the start to having a great family to losing it all. The gap is so wide, its ridiculous. I hate what I've been. I've always been waiting for someone to save me from myself.

September 2, 2008
This day forever changed my life. I've come to take a glance towards karma and fate. It was preposterous of me to somehow drop my call allowing this angel to pick it up.

I thought it was complete stupidity to rely on others, but maybe being self reliant defines stupidity. I seem to be stuck in the past, sulking over and over. I know that will achieve nothing at all, but its still happening.

Right now I'm laying on my bed crying out for help, but nobody is answering that call.

I need to laydown and think. I'll finish this up later.