Corn Pops.

I'm still far from myself and that person I need to be.

I'm always losing my train of thought and just bsing everything from there.

Where you are is where I need to be, but its as if there's some electromagnetic field repelling this steel wall in between my heart.

It was such a good day too. I'll get more to that later.

I ended it because I couldn't stand the barrage of pain we shoot occasionally towards one another, but in the long run I'm really just hurting myself.

You've become my everything and now I have nothing.

I thought when we finally made it through your parents not letting you have a boyfriend it was all smooth sailing from there, I waited 7 months, but it happened. What am I waiting for now? Hope of having you has driven me crazy. I don't even know who I am anymore. All I know is I'm still willing to wait. Even now we're still talking. I wish you would ask me out. You took off JALFAE on your page T__T

It seems when you hold back your anger and pain, pretending to be happy it keeps you from truly loving someone. I hate hesitation. I hate being lead on. I hate how I got the same answer I got 3 months ago. I Love you, I know what we can be, but I'm far from being suitable. Why am I not your bestfriend?! That was one straw that took it too far.

When I said let's break up, I tried to look strong. I couldn't stand to show you how stupid I knew I was being, how much my heart was crying out "NOO YOU FKING IDIOT, DONT DO IT!" Instead all I could do was hold my screams as the picture of your tears from your beautiful face struck me over and over like a broken CD on repeat.

I never wanted to let you go, but you had to go again cause you would get in trouble. I had to say it for you to leave, cause I couldn't find it within me to look your parents straight in the eye after what happened. I mean even if you don't love me the way I want you to doesn't mean you don't love me with everything you have. I fail to understand that, therefore I'm not good enough. There's 2 things I want, but I can't wait patiently and that lack of being patient brings forth this alter ego of me where all I do is hurt you.

If I had to take a step with you for every moment you were in my mind we'd finally have that forever.

I wish you would take the day off school to be with me tomorrow.

I think I once heard from The Simpsons that

"He who is not impatient is not in love."

UGHHH, I still remember that letter that made you cry. I wonder if I jump from the stairs tomorrow, would you catch me? Probably not -__-

So right now what we have is Love and Pain. What if all the pain we're to disperse, then all thats left is love right? AGHH you need your own life. How can you say you want it, but not do it? -__-

Lately you've told me I started to do everything in a half ass manner. Within me I can't give you everything, I can't do great things, but I've given everything I could greatly with my love. This love has just really taken its toll on me. Now you say you're here to help, but I'm being such a jerk. Fk I hate myself. I just pushed you away.

So you know those posters they sell at blockbuster? I once saw one that said

"Destiny is the choices you make, not the risks you take"

You said you've risked everything for me. I never had anything to risk. I've given you my all, but you always said to leave it to fate. Maybe you don't notice what I've done in the past 7 months, but I've practically have been to hell and back. I can't bare to see how happy you'll be without me tomorrow. Ugh tomorrow is going to be one of days where I have a fake smile on.

Everything was fine, you hesitated because you didn't want it. Why won't you trust me? We made it this far and you're going to let your parents influence get in the way again.

I don't know anymore, you were my inspiration for my poetry towards my English finals. Now I suddenly lost my will to write. I feel as if I've fallen and can't get up. Won't you help me up?

Don't let this be a game of tennis in which I can't beat your service ace of 2 - Love (Ugh too much Prince of Tennis) >__>