Seriously What The Fcuk!!?

Okay honestly WTF! I don't even know where to fcuking start. I'm seriously so pissed off right now. Did you even think how i would respond when i noticed you took that off? I know what! Let me assume the worst 1st since im always so pessimistic right? Hmm so lets see you took it off cause you know you'll find someone else in the near future? or is that you cant stand me and my negativity any longer and that your planning to break it off asap? Hey i don't blame you though i mean i seriously dont know how you can put up with a jerk like me thats always so self conscious. Jeez just dont fcuking tell me you took it off cause it didnt look nice or that i was being mean. Don't you know me well enough by now how i react to every slight thing no matter how meaningless it is. How i get jealous off the stupidest situations. Although the circumstances in this case are far from that. I cant help but feel even more then ever that all my efforts are in vain. That everything is so truly futile. I'm always trying my hardest for you pushing myself to such an extent where my tears have to cool me down, how i didn't want to put our faiths in fate, how i was planning every little step to ensure it would happen, but with that little stunt you just pulled i seriously dont fcuking know anymore. Do you really still care? Shit you've always told me about all the times you've cried over me, but have you heard about all the times i couldn't stop crying for you? No obviously right? I'm the type of person that doesn't care about his own feelings, always keeping it up bottled inside and putting everyone's feelings ahead of my own. Faking smiles, laughter & joy just so i don't drag everyone in my surrounding, but i always somehow end up pulling you in. Do you really love me that much? Honestly i know your fcuking tired of these stupid arguements we go through. And you know how im dragging you down, but you really dont like admitting it. Can't you understand i fcuking love you!? You don't love many people often the gap between Like & Love is huge in my book and you know how many people I've Loved in my life & you came in so easily. Don't you wonder why i think so much? How im trying to get down so much in so little time, but at the same time not rushing you in anyway? Life may be short, but its still the longest thing we'll ever experience. And with that in mind i always realize how miserable and painful life would be without you. I haven't been living till now, even ask everyone of my friends. Do you think I ignore you for a particular reason? If you do, tell me please and just dont go "Fine w/e then!" Shows how much you try for me right? Today i ignored you so you could catch up on everything essential in your life which im definitely not included in. Although my urge to talk to you is so fcuking great, its just ridiculous that it leads to an immense ammount of jealousy. Maybe in the mean time while i was suffering from not talking to you, i was preoccupied folding a thousand colorful stars into a glass jar to uphold my promise, but does it really matter anymore now? After all you don't want to be with me forever & ever anymore right? I can seriously go on and on, but hey youd just end up hating me even more then you do now. Cant you just understand how much i fcuking love you though and what lengths id go through for you. Maybe you should stop prolonging breaking up with me if it hurts you so much. Just go ahead and break my heart already jerk.