Complicated.

I can't believe how blind this is, how ignorant I've been, and how stupid I truly am. I don't know why i act the way i do at times. I hate how i always anticipate so much from you, but what i hate the most is how i realize things when its way too late. I mean some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. But it isn't that much easier when i live life forward and understand it backwards. Taking in consideration that life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next right? I envy how you can tolerate all the pain i toss at you and at the same time wish that you can find someone to make you happy without the consequence of pain. I'm sorry for ever doubting you, I'm sorry for not understanding your situation, I'm sorry for being such a fool. I just really want you to be happy and I'm not sure if u can achieved that with me. It seems like you were doing just fine with your family and friends before i stepped into the picture.